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Have we gone too far? Listen, I get it. Being an Indian immigrant in the United States, I come from a patriarchal household. Yes, there is a certain expectation as to how women should behave for that culture. It is easier for extended family to label a girl as arrogant or rude and their margin of error is smaller. In fact, men can spin arrogance into confidence. So, I’m not an idiot…. actually, let me rephrase that, I’m not a complete idiot and I get that things aren’t fair. The majority of all sexual harassment cases in all industries are committed by men. Men are more prone to domestic violence than are women. The wage gap is catching up but has been unfair for over a century. But enough of the preaching on screen please! Now let’s get to Barbie.

Barbie is a fantasy comedy film that was released on the same day as Oppenheimer but somehow collected 1.5 billion dollars. Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling play barbie dolls who magically get transported to American society and discover that patriarchy still dominates the world. Greta Gerwig forgot that we live in a capitalist society and calls socioeconomic success, patriarchy. The climax of the movie clearly outlines that as long as “we can all just be ourselves”, the world would be a much better place. Where the fuck is the trashcan? How the fuck did this movie make any money? Maybe Gerwig would prefer to live in a Midsommer Utopia. Maybe she is right…every man in a place of power or success is either Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Diddy, Epstein…Jesus I can keep going with this. I’ll stop listing so I can shit on this movie a bit more.

Another thing that triggered me about this movie is the depiction of toxic masculinity. Apparently talking about The Godfather is toxic. Playing the guitar to attract the opposite sex is toxic. What’s next, I can’t open the car door for my wife? Should the line between chivalry and chauvinism be that delicate? First of all, The Godfather is fucking awesome and I will keep ranting on about Coppola’s masterpiece until my dying breath. A male peacock has to flutter its feathers and perform a dance for its counterpart. So, if I want to play the guitar to get laid, consensually of course, I will. If I want to help a girl’s golf swing to get laid, consensually again, I will. Oh wait, I’m married and was never good with women so guess I won’t have this problem. Apparently modern-day feminism teaches that men should be walking around eggshells and present themselves in a sophisticated manner or else they’re vile.

Will Ferrell plays this bumbling corporate idiot while America Ferrara plays an empathetic mom. She gives this beautiful monologue as to why “it is literally impossible to be a woman”. I am a huge America Ferrara fan but give me a fucking break.  This is the monlogue:

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.”

First of all, thicc girls are in as long as the respective person is content with the choice that they’re making and they don’t suffer early onset heart disease! Everybody has to ask for money especially in a corporate environment because it is in the employer’s interest to negotiate lower annual salary for the employee. No boss is allowed to be that mean because of strong HR policies across all corporate environments because it has never been easier to sue. I can keep going with this…wait one more…Nobody has to answer for anybody’s bad behavior: if a man is manipulating you for not defending his deficiencies, it is your responsibility to get the fuck out of there.  I can’t believe grown women are calling this the monologue of the century; it’s just sheer victim complex. The moral of the story is this society is filled with negativity and it is the individual’s responsibility regardless of their respective private parts to figure out a way to navigate it. People like Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith have made a career out of criticizing Lebron James.

I understand life is really hard. It’s not always fair. But scrutinizing everything can be extremely dangerous and in fact demoralizing for others who have 0 intentions of performing harm. I don’t need to reiterate the tragedy of the lives of African Americans in this country and I am not comparing the hardships of any sects. But from history we can learn that justice is slow and takes drastic political and socioeconomic efforts. Putting out a binary movie to discuss a complex issue and labelling it as an ode to feminism is asinine. I didn’t even get into the scientific or psychological aspects to completely obliterate the logic of this movie. Eh, I think I’ve already ranted enough. Unfortunately, I watched “Blink Twice” as well and that was another rough “all men are evil” watch. I guess I’ll have to settle for watching “The White Lotus”, in which Mike White takes a more balanced approach in outlining the nature of humans if woke culture keeps censoring good content and putting out more Barbies. The only thing that triggered me more than this movie is Adam Dimarco’s character in White Lotus season 2 bitching about “The Godfather” but at the end extorted the great Michael Imperioli for a couple bucks because sexual intercourse blinded him. Fuck it I’m out!