Why has there been no Indian movie stars in Hollywood? I guess Priyanka Chopra Jonas would be the closest person to that title due to her hit…well yea ok hit show Quantico. Is it just racism? I don’t think so. Look at all the Asian stars out there: Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, Keanu Reeves, Lucy Liu, Ali Wong, Jet Li, Simu Liu, Steven Yeun, Henry Golding, John Cho…I can keep going. Don’t get me wrong, Kumail Nanjiani was in an Eternals movie, Hasan Minhaj and Mindy Kaling are very successful comedians, and Aziz Ansari managed to sneak away from the “Me Too” movement (That’s kind of harsh). I loved “Master of None”, “Parks and Rec”, and “The Good Fortune”. But none of these guys are exactly Bruce Willis. Is it physical appearance? Nah, Bob Odenkirk is a movie star and I wouldn’t exactly call him drop dead gorgeous. Compared to Dev Patel, Bob might as well look like Paul Giamatti. Ok, now that I brought up Giamatti, is it talent? Absolutely fucking not. I think I know the reason and I think we missed him.
Movie stars don’t grow on trees. I don’t think movie stars are dead but with the constant influx of more talent and the further difficulty of getting movies made is going to further exacerbate this process. The creation of a movie star is the perfect semblance of timing (the state of the world and how open folks are to viewing content), charisma (this could be as simple as appealing to the proper audience and focusing on one skill to lock a section of the country down), talent (not necessary but does help), and lastly, beauty (pretty, sexy, or uniqueness). This can be an angel like Chris Hemsworth or a pitbull like Dustin Hoffman. It can be a cigarette beauty like a Sharon Stone or a firecracker like a Melissa McCarthy. It can be a…actually let me get to the fucking point.
The person we missed is Kal Penn. Who knows, maybe he didn’t want it. Hanging out with Obama in the White House was probably more appealing than getting jacked for Marvel. But this man played one of the best stoners in the three “Harold and Kumar” movies. Can you believe Ryan Reynolds was an extra for Kal Penn? Penn can also play a dork really well in the Van Wilder movies. He can be a party animal, an Indian man trying to be black, and a professor in UPenn (I think that’s in real life). But the movie that was missed was “The Namesake”. Penn plays an American born Indian man from a conservative family who goes through an identity crisis as to choosing which cultural values to adhere to. If that movie took off, it could have been similar to McConaughey’s transition from “Dazed and Confused” to “A Time to Kill”. “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay” should have been the arrival of a superstar. The film hasn’t aged well but it’s still hilarious. And, Penn’s delivery of the “TSA” monologue and the poignant rendition of the corny “Square Root of 3” soliloquy adds girth to my theory. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think he could have been Cobb in “Inception” but he should not have been the umpteen Robin love interest in “How I Met Your Mother”. Anyways, it’s too late now and we’ll have to wait for the next person. But do your boi a big solid and go back and watch those movies and tell me I’m wrong!
